26.7.05

Waking Up and Thinking Forward

Days of glory
Days of failure

Days of pleasure
Days of pain

Days of mercy
Days of unforgiving moments

I have days of undesirable angst
and I have days of euphoric spin cycles
Everyday is an interesting day
Not sure how to take each one...

As I have said before, some days we are friends
and others we are not.
Some say its a mood thing,
I wonder if its just a stupid thing.

I don't want predictable.
But it kind of gets old when you don't know
what tomorrow holds.
Mornings can beautiful or disgusting.
Afternoons can carry a sweet breeze
or envelope you into a tornado of chaos.
Evenings can be shared with the one you love
And you'll either end the night with sex
Or ya' just won't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah....
I've heard it all before
This is life.

But wouldn't it be nice if in the midst
of craziness and unpredictability,
you had consistency?

I would love to look beautiful everyday
Never worry about if my complexion will be
fair with me today.
Or better yet,...never look in the mirror to see if
the outfit you've worn so many times still fits.

I hate thinking about the little things.
Worrying about the little things.
Taking my focus off the important things
And again, placing them on the little things.

I would like to wake up everyday
and think forward.

I want to do the important
I want to understand carefree
I want to love beautifully
I want to live wonderfully

Today has been good.....
I just hope the days to follow will remember.

6 Comments:

At 7/27/2005 10:29 AM, Anonymous mary ellen said...

everytime i visit your blog, i feel my body begging for a rainy day, some tea, and a low lit chair and warm blanket. then i dream of sketches and ideas, and writing and reading. and hoping i can really come back in touch with all the things in myself that i hear you saying. please keep talking.

 
At 7/27/2005 9:22 PM, Blogger HangingUpsideDown said...

mary, I get so excited when you post something. Your kind words always bring tears to my eyes. I pray that you recieve what you so desire. I understand the frustrations and longings for your favorite window and the extra special book. This season has been strange for all of us, and so many of us are trying desperately to capture what we one had before. I personally, didn't know what I had until life changed. The new life is good, but I want both worlds. AND I am tired of people telling me "I can't have my cake and eat it too!". I'm pretty sure we are all in the same boat, we just don't really know it yet. Maybe we don't know it because our situations look very different. Sometimes I wonder if this not-so-pleasant season is actually for a good thing. Maybe our frustrations are a good thing. At least we know were still alive:) I hope and I pray that with a husband, children, school, work and maturity we will find a way to marry our true love,...creativity. (IN THE UTMOST SENSE). And when I say marry, I mean never making it possible to let it slip through our fingers.

 
At 7/28/2005 10:10 AM, Anonymous Mary Ellen said...

I am entirely in agreement with you. And I have also just about decided to eat someone else's cake... that someone else being who ever tells me I can't eat my own... or myabe I'll just put it in their face! Either way, I am going to find what it is I'm looking for, and I believe the only reason I'm looking is because it's not being handed to me. SO, these frustrations are good for something!

 
At 7/28/2005 7:59 PM, Blogger HangingUpsideDown said...

LOL! You crack me up!

 
At 8/01/2005 10:13 AM, Blogger audi said...

I personally have never understood the point of "you can't have your cake and eat it too". Just learn to bake cake. Then, whenever you want cake, you can eat it. And if your friends want cake, you can show them how to bake. And then everyone gets to eat cake, and have it whenever they want.

 
At 8/08/2005 12:12 PM, Blogger Cigana said...

Ok ya'll, no fair, now I just want cake.

 

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