I will continue to die...

You lye asleep in hopes that tomorrow will feel better
And I lye awake wondering what will come of my tomorrows
I need sleep, but the nagging keeps the eyes and heart open for just
a little bit longer...just a little longer for me to tell you why I so love you.

I have been thinking about you a lot lately
So much so, that I think I can finally write this piece that has been rustling
within me since the day we met
I can honestly say that I am afraid,...afraid to express feelings that are not pain
But love.
Just saying the word pricks a portion of my being
Love pulls me in a direction I rarely choose to express
I don't even know how to start,...
except,...maybe delving into this expression without any thought...


Here is no thought,...just me,...me trying to give you what you have already given.

Love...

I love you, I love you more than I thought was ever possible
I cry thinking of you
I cry looking at you
I cry touching you
I cry,...And I cry,...And I keep crying
My response to your love is tears
My tears are my words,...the ones I seem never able to express

I wish I could pull my soul out...
And serve it to you on a bed of melodies
I wish my heart could bleed as much as yours
I wish I could intoxicate your lips as you do mine

You have depth far beyond any sea
You love,...knowing that you may die tomorrow
You know Jesus, you understand his quest
And you have no fear following that map

Again, I cry
Cry at the beauty that streams from every fiber
Cry knowing that I stand on the left and Jesus on your right
Cry holding the hand that is always out for my taking
Cry breathing the breath that you continuously give me

I love you...
I love the furrowed brow and the fuzziness of your mornings
I love the whispering songs that find themselves under your breath
I love the hands that always have time to run through my hair
I love the ridiculous faces and absurd sounds that seem to burst out at odd hours of the night
I love the tears that fall when my tears fall, especially when you don't know why
I love you,...

I love everything about you, there is not a piece or a moment that needs exchanging
You have the essence of beauty and passion that I hope one day I may behold
Benjamin, I love you with an abandon that has yet to be created
I do not know how to express the desperate cry that screams from the depths of my soul
I do not know how to love you in ways that would satisfy my heart
I am astounded by your love,...so much so,...I feel paralyzed pondering on the thought
If only you could hear my song,...my heart sings it so beautifully
The melodies sway like sweet winds dancing through tree tops
Each unique rhythm and beat makes my heart stop
The voice of my love,... is so strong, so vital, so moving
That their are times i think I die and lye in the depths of heaven

I cannot lose you and yet,...I know I will
One day I will have to breathe on my own again
Play my song over and over again just to live each day
And each day, I will continue to die and lye next to you in the depths
Of our heaven.