21.11.05

A sad day, A peaceful day, A good day,...a chance to write

Its somewhat cold out
Luna continues to bark at the frightened squirrels
I should be working hard on my final projects
The dryer is tumbling ever so loudly
Hammers and drills work their magic on the homes that surround

And somehow, it feels really quiet
Maybe that's because life has been so loud and chaotic
I guess today is my day of peace

I've got to be more calm
I am hurting my body when I carry so much stress
I think I made myself sick Saturday
I really think my body caused fatigue and illness to get me to stop
Don't think that is good,...at least that's what Ben thinks

I love school and I love work, but I don't love them together
I miss the days when I could wake up with a cup of coffee
I miss the days when no one was in my house but me
I miss the days when I had the time and money to buy relaxation
I miss the days when I wanted to read a book or paint a picture

I know I am growing up, and that's just fine
But the way I am growing isn't very healthy, and I would really like to live a long life
I wish they gave you a manual at eighteen that told you how to stay healthy
I wish our bodies and medicine weren't so complicated

Today is one of those days that gives so many memories
Just out of the blue,....I think of Newfoundland and how wonderful that trip was
And just awhile ago, I thought of Alice and how wonderful she is
I am dreaming up new memories as well, like Christmas with my whole family
Sometimes I wonder if I am trying to fill my grandma's place,...in fact I know I do
Candy dishes, decorating every inch of our house (inside and out),
always something warm and good to eat
I miss her, I miss having Christmas with her
I wish she could come out this year
I wish she could see our house
I wish we could be a whole family one last time

Today is a good day
But a strange day
Its a day where I feel somewhat sad
And a day where I feel very peaceful
It must be a good day,....
I finally got to sit down and write.

6 Comments:

At 11/22/2005 2:39 PM, Blogger sacrecentre said...

le sigh. that sounds wonderful. even though you say it was somewhat a sad day, i find a certain joy in sadness... does that make me weird?

 
At 11/22/2005 7:37 PM, Blogger HangingUpsideDown said...

I am exactly the same way. Sadness gives me a sense a happiness. There is something very nostalgic about a sad day. I don't like too many in a row or than I become depressed. And depression is only cool if it lasts a day. That hardly is ever the case.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I am too sad, depressed, or lonely. I like the way I am, but I sometimes feel like people wish I was happier. Glad I have a friend who feels the same way about things....sadness can be good.

 
At 11/25/2005 10:02 PM, Blogger Cigana said...

I think we all have a certain amount of melancholy that we feel guilty giving in to. But if we don't every once in a while (just for a little bit at a time) it builds up and overflows into a long and unhealthy depression.

I just wish that on the days that I feel that way, the rest of the world would just stop so I can be mopey in peace : )

 
At 11/26/2005 11:10 AM, Blogger HangingUpsideDown said...

I love my sweet melancholy friends.

 
At 11/27/2005 12:32 AM, Blogger Tavius said...

and the infinite sadness

 
At 12/06/2005 10:39 PM, Blogger audi said...

the holidays tend to be rather melancholy when you slow down. i think tradition is good because it helps you remember what has gone before... both the happy memories and the sad ones. i think our culture needs to get better at planning for those days.

as soon as all the craziness dies down a bit, we should have a melancholy day at the library. it's a good place for melancholy days.

 

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